Everyone or at least most people would agree they’ve all got
some company, friend or companion, one way or another; and of course, life
would definitely seem and feel empty without at least having one of them. No
matter how poor or how rich, how high or how low, there’s always someone who
would make a good companion for another. It would also look weird and sound
strange to find a person who claims to have no friend in any form; human,
living or even non-living thing; actually they could be having one of those
invisible friends which are even the most dangerous; like loneliness,
bitterness, pride, jealousy, and the likes; those are really bad friends; their
ability to cause harm to persons and personalities is better imagined than
experienced.
However, it feels necessary to
outline a few definitions of the word ‘friend’ from its dictionary meaning: It
says, a friend is somebody emotionally close to or somebody who trusts and is fond of another; or a
friend is an acquaintance, somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with
somebody else; or a friend is an ally, or somebody who is not an enemy. From
those, we can deduce that trust is often the bedrock of a real friendship.
It’s said: “show me your friend, and
I will tell you who you are”, derived from the ability of friends to influence
a person either positively or negatively. However, this also holds: “show me
who you are and I can tell who your friend has been”. The association is not
just about the person or the circumstances that led to the formation of the
friendship; but it’s more about the personality of the person. A man’s
behavioral pattern in words and deeds, can actually tell more about whom he has
been associating with. Of a truth; “friendship is not by force but by choice”;
all friendships are made by choice and one’s true personality plays the major
role in determining that choice. The wise saying, “who you are, is who you will
attract” is a true one!
Friendships are made but real friendships
are formed, based on the fulfillment of already predetermined criteria or
conditions. “A friend to everybody is certainly a friend to nobody!” Only a man
who has lost his real self-identity forms friendships with everybody. The important
foundation of trust cannot just be built with everybody, without considerations
for similarities and agreements in beliefs, goals, value systems and the likes;
as no true friendship exists without trust.
The Word says, “…evil communications corrupt good manners”; notice it did not say,
“Evil people or evil persons’. Therefore, it’s not just about the community or
association; but more about the kind of communications or discussions always
going on within the community or group of friends; that is what determines the
kind of influence the friendship would have on a person; negative or positive. Never
underestimate the power of what is most talked about amongst friends; action is
only a step away. No doubt, many have ruined their lives by heeding the advices
of bad friends. Just as the Word says “He
that walks with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be
destroyed.” and “As iron sharpens
iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”
A true friend never tells you only
what you like to hear, but also serves you the bitter truth when necessary.
A true friend stays close not only
when the going is good, but sticks even closer in times of adversity.
The love of a friend cares not only
for your physical, emotional, material or social needs but also seeks your
spiritual well-being. A true friend would rather let you please God, than
please him/her. A true friend offers counsel based on the Word of God, and not
from the ideas of some other friends or from the popular opinion.
Amongst many examples; Moses, when he
was called by God to deliver the children of Israel from slavery in Egypt, believed
more in his inability to speak well than in the ability of the One who called
him with miraculous signs to heal his tongue; of which God was not so pleased
with him. But however, God had already prepared Aaron his brother to be his
companion on the assignment. Who could be more trustworthy than a companion
chosen by God for you? Their meeting or birth was not just an accident or
coincidence, but God wanted a job done and that would require the two of them
together; God had it planned out even before they were born.
Same applies to the true believer;
meeting anyone in any way, and forming friendships, are not always by chance,
but also by His divine direction, and there is always a purpose; either to be
blessed of them, to be a blessing to them or both.
A spiritual friendship with God’s Holy
Spirit through constant communion and continuous fellowship in prayers and
studying of God’s Word, remains the best friendship anyone can ever form, and that
is the only friendship that is guaranteed to never lead one to the wrong path
or to the wrong people; unlike physical friendships which may be altered and
affected by life’s prevailing situations and circumstances, which may turn
former best friends into strangers or even enemies in some cases.
Yes! Friends can either make or
break a person; but friendship is always by choice! Never form purposeless
friendships, leading to nowhere; that would rather pull you down than take you
up, and that would not enable you discover, pursue and fulfill God’s purpose
for your life.
Who is your best friend? Who you
would hardly displease or disappoint no matter the cost? Whose advice you
believe is always the best? Whose burden you would rather bear no matter the
sacrifice?
Is that friend really a true friend?
Nice day friends!
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